Rock a Bye...BUZZARD?

One day when I came home from work I asked the husband how our 2 month old son's day was.  He responded jokingly with, "that buzzard barely slept all day!"  At first I was horrified.  I said, "aww mean!"  But the more I though about it the more I got a good laugh out of that description for a baby.  Hey he's practically bald.  Always hovering around.  Always eating.  Always...there.  I texted my sister what he said and she responded with, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  Again I laughed. 

Happiness (I Know, Easier Said Than Done)

"What are you taking?", my mom asked one day, in reference to my new, happy lifestyle, "because I want some." This may sound cliche but I have found that more than anything, happiness is a mindset. I know, I know. Tell that to someone who just broke up with their boyfriend or who found 2 flat tires. A little background here- I WAS that unhappy person. Very recently. Until one day magically something just clicked and I said to myself, you know darnit, I want to be happy! I am going to take it day by day and be good to myself. It's all about the little things. Like, I am going to CHOOSE not to let 2 flat tires bother me. Instead I am going to tell myself that nothing lasts forever and I am going to find something to be grateful for anyways, like the fact that I have a job and can buy new ones, even though it will set me back in other ways. Or if you are unemployed, realize you have family or friends that care about those tires and will help you, you are not alone and that's all that matters. As for the boyfriend, realize it is HIS loss. I mean, why else would he let a person go as awesome as yourself? Enjoy being single because before you know it someone else will come along and you will miss those single days! Mark my words!
I often watch Spongebob Squarepants with my son. There is this one song Spongebob sings called "The Best Day Ever". Those words alone are so powerful and magical, without even hearing the song. Why SHOULDN'T every day be better than the last? (All thanks to a little sea sponge thingy in pants) :)
Mom, no pills here. Just the wanting to be happy and knowing that in a blink of an eye life will all be over and I want to have lived it happily!

Doggie Birthday Parties

I confess: I don't love my pets. They are not my kids. I don't pamper or spoil them or throw them birthday parties. I don't buy them Christmas presents. I CERTAINLY don't sleep with them. Does this make me abnormal or heartless? As a matter of fact, I consider them a nuisance. I was once subjected to a thrown chair when I suggested that a certain person's mother was "cuckoo" for holding a doggie birthday bash, complete with cake and other doggie pals. Now don't get me wrong I am not an animal hater or abuser. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats. I care about animals. But as I age my patience level goes down, and I have less and less tolerance for when Kitty is messing with the Christmas tree or when Doggie has dug another hole. I can quickly morph from calm and collected to raging, shaking beast when I catch the dumb animal on the couch for the 121st time even though they have been taught not to. There was a time as a child where my pets were my everything. That's all I could play with, write about or talk about. But I was 12. I have found that once your universe expands and you have kids of your own, your views change as well. To the people who write or say, "my pets are everything", I'm sorry, but you haven't experienced the "everything" you must still be searching for in life.

Please keep that to yourself!

OK people, some things are private and you just don't share them. With anyone. The worst offender thus far- "we're trying to have a baby". Uh did you just say that? Out loud? To me? As matter of fact as, "I'm going to try to plant a garden this year?" EW. Now my mind went there. THERE. You know. Your bedroom. I am thinking of you 2, uh, doing the ol' mattress mambo. I didn't WANT to go there. My mind couldn't help it. It's like when someone has a disability and you try so hard not to stare that you still stare. So no I don't want to picture you with that sweaty beast gyrating on top of you. That is PRIVATE. I also do not want to ever discuss the following: your colonoscopy and how you had to "cleanse" beforehand, your private relations with your significant other, hemorrhoids, whether your children (or you!) were planned or not, itchy "private" rashes, you get the picture. Enough people. Just because they do it on reality television does not mean I need to hear all about it from you too. Not that I watch reality TV. But I'll save that for another day...

Tip of the day folks- sometimes it's better to remain a bit of a mystery! Makes you more interesting than putting it all out there, that means Facebook too!

UGH ear pain!

I spent my weekend wailing like a newborn due to a nasty case of swimmer's ear. Pain sometimes has the power to make a grown man or woman cry. I'd say part of it was pain, part of it was wanting sympathy. I somehow reverted to a helpless 7 year old who needed nothing more than her mom's comfort during her distress. Well hubby became my "mom", catering to every whim and offering a comforting touch every time I whimpered in pain. I also took the time to lay on the couch and watch "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" with my son, something I rarely have time to do. I realized how I had taken my health for granted, and how much my family means to me, even if it is just sitting besides them watching a movie. Suddenly the ear that I wanted to chop off had bonded us all. My "tricky" ear, as my husband calls it, was smarter than me it seemed :)

TOO MUCH!

You CAN have too much of a good thing. I have way too many slippers. WAY too many. Maybe a dozen pairs. I aquired most during my teenage years. Maybe many thought this was an easy yet useful gift for a teen. I am just happy now that my son is almost 10 and I have been pawning some of my more boyish colored slippers over to him as his feet are quite large already. He loves them. Thinks they are the greatest thing. I also have way too many staples for some odd reason. I once looked at all the staples I had in my desk drawer and thought, "when I die, these will still be here". I also have too many perfumes. While I love perfume and wear it every day, how do you go through 20 bottles? Very slowly, my too -much- perfume adverse mom would say. But that is what I am doing. Again, these were accumulated as gifts. And coffee mugs. Then I have too much of things I bought myself. 3 robes. Maybe 20 pairs of different cute pjs. A closet packed to the gills with maybe 25 coats. As I was putting away my socks today, my husband shook his head and asked, "why do you have so many socks?" "It's a sickness", I replied. So my question to you dear readers. What do you have "too much" of that you could possible clothe/decorate/make smell better etc. an entire extended family?

Why Did I Wear That?

Ever notice how sometimes you don't realize how ridiculous you look wearing something until you later see a picture/video of yourself? You strut your stuff thinking you look all trendy but later when you see the picture you look like a 30 year old trying to be a teenager. Or a disheveled soccer mom. Or a lazy homemaker. This has happened to me on many occasions. One time I spied a picture of me wearing purple framed sunglasses. I thought they were the coolest thing, but a picture later revealed they were too small for my face. Or the maternity blazer I bought from Target. Hey it was on clearance and I didn't realize it was maternity. I thought I could pull it off and that it looked "sorta cute." WRONG. If it does not make you feel like a million bucks and make you look your best, time to part ways. Sometimes all it simply takes is a trip to the mall and a vision of myself in the mirror. I will be joyfully shopping and then catch a glimpse of myself and think, "what was I THINKING wearing this dowdy thing out in public?" As soon as I get home I donate or trash the item. I have often said if you are not sure if you like an item, wear it one day out in public. You will have your answer by the end of the day. Life is too short to NOT look your best everyday.